2 Months!

These past two months have flown by!  It's amazing how much your life can change in just two months.  I feel like every step we take is so much more thoughtful.  More importantly, his life has changed so much in just two months. I feel like he's doing something new every day.

Birth:
Weight:  7lbs 2oz
Height: 21inches.

2 Months:
Weight: .... 12 lbs!
Height: 24in.

My little chunk! I am apparently giving him more than a sufficient amount of food.

He's developing a little personality.  His little coos melt my heart and his little pouty face can get him whatever he wants. He's awfully demanding, but follows the screams with the sweetest little smile. He's obsessed with lights, and will not fall asleep if there are pretty lights around him. He likes his tummy time, but would prefer being on his back so that he can see lights and watch the little mobile on his floor mat. All in all, he's a sweet baby, with chunky cheeks and Michelin man legs.. the perfect cuddle bug.

I know the favorite question is, "Are you getting any sleep?" Not enough.  He does about four hours on his own in a Rock 'N Play. Then, it's every two hours on the dot.  Scott and I were adamant that our baby was never going to sleep with us. But, alas, he cuddles right up and gets his way. Unfortunately, he won't sleep on his own in a bassinet or anything flat, but we're going to keep trying. For now, this works and is what's getting us enough sleep.

I go back to work tomorrow, which is a whole different set of emotions. To be fair, I picked the right career for motherhood. With holiday vacations, mid-winter break, and "cold days," I was able to gain an extra 3 weeks with my little guy (America's maternity leave policy makes me livid). But, it's time to face reality. I'm going to have to share him... I hope they can find him as sweet as we do.

Exploring our new roles: Mommy & Daddy

Well, in case you didn't see it coming, I have a feeling this site will morph into a place to document the life of our little Nolie Pie. But, we have a few good years before the next step in Scott's career journey, so I'd say he's a pretty good filler.

First, the nitty gritty: Childbirth (I know some women love to talk birth, so here's the story.)
I didn't go in with a "Birth Plan." I just trusted my doctors and knew my husband would speak up for me if things went south. Plus, planning it made me more anxious, and I work better on the "go with the flow" attitude. I ended up being induced, so I don't really know when you start counting hours. Solely based on "amount of time in pain," it was probably somewhere around 12 hours, with an epidural thrown in. The after-effects were great, but the process of getting an epidural is terrifying. No one warned me about that. I actively pushed for about an hour and a half, and then our little guy came out.  He went to the NICU for a few hours, which was horrifyingly vague. However, he improved pretty quickly, and they called it "slow transition" out of the womb. All-in-all, he's here and healthy, making the details less important.

Our announcement/Christmas Card:

Now, the good stuff. Parenthood.

Oh my word. The love. I'm trying to find a good way to document things, so bare with me as I try to find some flow.  The choppiness of this writing seems to fit my world perfectly right now.  I am trying to adapt to a lack of set schedule (my fear coming to life!), documenting his life like crazy and hoping to find his "schedule" to preserve my sanity. In the mean time, I watch him fall asleep, frantically run and try to get lunch, take bathroom breaks, do dishes, etc., and return before he wakes up. It's quite the magical event when it works out. ;)

Here are the first things I learned about Mommy life and Nolan's personality.

• My mom was right.
   I was terrified that I wouldn't wake up to my baby. Despite how much she told me "it will change when it is your baby," I was not convinced.  I had a fake baby for a high school class, and more often than not my mom had to wake me as it cried. Or, in college, I slept entirely through a fire alarm (Good thing it was just a freshman pulling a prank). But, it is different with your baby. I can survive on 4 hours of sleep. I can hear him because I never go in a deep sleep... and I can be exhausted/half awake and still have no problem spending ten minutes just watching him breathe.  Also, mommies, when does the need to make sure he's breathing every 1-2 hours stop?

• Like father, like son?
  Eh, I should say parents.  Scott and I are...well, stubborn.  I think we both would say we are more "well-reasoned" than stubborn, but it's true. And... Nolan's the same way. Here are some examples.
• Nolan is very adamant on how he should sit. I like the busy life and love multi-tasking. Sure, we can argue about productivity, but I feel better when I'm juggling multiple things.  Well, Nolan does not want any of that.  If he's being held the attention needs to be on him. He wants to be facing you with eye contact.  Anything less is just unacceptable.  But, really, who can resist that?
• Shower time. Oh my word... this kid. Showers are a balancing act for babies, I know. First, we haul his little bouncer into our tiny bathroom.  Then, he has to face the contrasting color curtain. Vibrations are required on the bouncy seat. But, that's not all! He also prefers to have Pandora music on from my phone. But, now for the stubborn part. This little stinker has a fake cry for when Pandora goes to a commercial or when it pauses between songs. He's fine once the new song comes on, but goodness... (Though, today, he just wanted that eye contact again.  As soon as I shut the curtain, he would fake cry... and I would open it and he would be fine). 
• Learning cries is the most helpful thing, and you do learn eventually. I thought I was terrible when I didn't have it within the first two weeks...but you do figure it out. And, there will be some that you can't decipher. It's fine. Sometimes it's just gas (Gas drops are wonderful!). 

• Breastfeeding is hard.
  I'm happy to be doing it, but it's not a walk in the park. I'd say it's been a lesson in selflessness, because some days are just really long, where it feels like he can't possibly eat anymore and wants to. But, other days are great. It was also a proud moment when I was able to pump him a bottle and he took it from Dad. :)

• Emotions.
  I am not an outwardly emotional person.  I can contain it very well, but I feel as though I opened a whole new set of emotions. For instance, it's so sad to be outgrowing clothes. He's growing too fast! Part of me is/was eager to have him communicating, more independent, etc.  I love 2 year olds.  But I'm learning that it's already going too fast.  Where did these 5 weeks go? Why do I have to go back to work in 3 weeks? Gah... 

• Every day is new.
  I feel like, at least at this age, every day he seems older.  His movements get more smooth (Daddy doesn't want that lovely startle reflex to go away), he makes more facial expressions, and each day brings a new little coo. He was exploring tummy time and rolled over (he was propped up on a baby pillow and rolled himself off onto the play mat), but it still just seemed like such a big leap. Oh, and my favorite, he now understands that we go back to sleep after our midnight and 3am feedings. :)

I think that's enough for his first month. 

Stats: 10lbs, 21 inches

And, as a final note, our new signature. :)

A Step Up

My dear Grandpa reminded me that he still checks this occasionally.  Not only that, but my lovely domain hosting site also reminded that it was time to renew. So, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, and Ange, I'll keep the site.  You know, for Baby Cressman's sake.

Originally, this was to track Scott's medical travels in Rwanda. Then, it changed to our wedding site, then to inform everyone what medical school was like.  As I type this, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and teary eyed.  Oh gosh, the hormones...  Rather than reminiscing (digging up the photo below did enough), I'll update you on the latest and the future.

Shortly before we were engaged. 

Today, Scott finished day 1 of his Step 3 exam.  Remember those long, grueling tests (the ones where you get to spend all day in a computer lab and worry about pacing, remembering things from 4 years ago, making sure you're bodily functions are working properly, wearing the same thing as the last two for comfort/nostalgic/habitual purposes, etc.)? Step 3 is a two-day test (I think those should be outlawed).  Not only do you have to study your butt off to get through the 7 hour test, but you get to go back and do it again the next day... all while spending the evening studying more and worrying about any mistakes you remember from earlier in the day.  These tests are just awful.  First, when do residents have time to study?  But, we survived through it and made it to testing day. Keep in mind, I'm very pregnant. So, the added stress of the exhausted, stressed husband has this future mamma repeatedly telling the little goober in the belly to stay in one more day.  Not only that, but they make you keep your phone in the car all day. So, I was a ball of nerves that I would need an urgent phone call to the hubs.  One more day, little guy. One more day.

Anyway, Scott is pushing through. Baby Cressman has quite the smart Daddy.  They threw a few curve-balls in there this year.  Because of the little baby, Scott had to take the "new" test to make sure we could get it in before he wanted to spend his evenings with the babe. So, he wasn't exactly sure what to expect.  To make matters worse, he won't get his scores back to April. Which should be illegal, in my "expert" opinion. But, come April, he'll get to write his own scripts and be that much closer to the real job. I should mention, for his sake, step 3 is the last step, but then you're knocked back down and studying for Radiology specific exams.

While he's completing his last Step exam, I can't help but think how many steps we've climbed and what's next for us.  After tomorrow, Scott and I can stop worrying about this test and officially start nesting.  I didn't really understand that term until a few days ago. But, I've scoured, organized, and am ready to "enjoy" (yes, that needs quotes) the last couple weeks of pregnancy.   My preggo brain is full of half-completed lists of things to do, things to buy, and making sure I'm enjoying every moment of these last few days of non-mommy life.  I can't decide if the teary eyes are because I'm sad to see my care-free lifestyle with Scott going away or because I'm just so anxious to meet the little booger.

As for pregnancy,

• I could do without: swollen feet, the lack of a lap (my phone drops every hour), and the need to pre-think bending over for a simple object.
• I'm going to miss: the little flutters inside my tummy, having an excuse for everything (ha!), and the idea that I'm growing a human. 
• I'm not ready for: leaky boobs, losing my hair, pushing a baby out of a vagina, losing sleep, a whole new world, and the constant worries.
• I'm ready for: the snuggles, meeting my little human, experiencing parenthood, and my whole new world. Oh yeah, and getting a break from work! (Don't worry, moms, I know you're all laughing me and the illusion that it's a break). 

So, family and friends, feel free to comment below with your best mommy advice. I'll leave you with the first picture I took after putting the nursery together.  Unfortunately, I haven't taken a nice picture of the wall hangings created by my sisters, or all of his wonderful goodies.  But, here you have the crib and rocking chair without a cat or baby.  That's a rare occurrence (at least the cat part) in the Cressman household. 

Life & Pregnancy

I suppose I should finally blog about pregnancy for the family members that only keep up with us through this site.  First, my apologies to my Facebook friends...  Apparently, since I didn't share my husband's announcement photo (below), half of you didn't see it.

Around the 16 week mark, we decided to announce our new little bundle of joy.  Since we had just moved, we started with mailing announcement cards. I still enjoy the traditional cards/letters in the mail, so I insisted on doing some type of moving update (I removed the address for this post).

Please note the baby shoes... 

If we learned anything, it's that our family and friends don't seem to enjoy subtlety. Most opened it and thought, "I didn't know people still did moving cards" and left it at that. After a few brief conversations discussing why we wouldn't be unpacked until December, the need for further clarification became clear. So, below I give you our Facebook announcement. In big, bold, capital letters.

Note: No cats flew away in the process. 

So, pregnancy.  First, to all you moms, kudos.  My first trimester was actually relatively easy. I know some women would kill me for saying that, and I know I'm lucky. Other than fatigue, life wasn't too different.  Likewise, the second trimester was nice.  There's something comforting about feeling the little kicks and flutters while watching your belly grow.  But, now I'm at the third trimester.  Wow.  No one tells you about this other than "You're almost there!"  There's a whole new level of exhaustion... and the added weight makes moving around and sleeping tough. Plus, let's not forget about pregnancy brain. Teaching with pregnancy brain is a whole different ball game.  I've used so many sticky notes to try remembering some basic things. But overall, it's true, we're getting close.  One part of me is so excited to become a mom.  Another part of me is scared to death.  First, the basics: Giving birth, breastfeeding, "Will my body ever go back?!", etc. Of course, then there's the life after.  What's our view on discipline? Should we visit all of our friends now since we're no longer going to have such flexibility? Can we survive on no sleep? Can we afford this? Can we, can we, can we...? These questions seem endless. But, I don't know, I wouldn't think we're ready if we didn't start to doubt all the big things in this huge change. That's life. And, I know (or hope) we'll get through it just like everyone else.

I realized last week that I haven't taken a single picture of this growing belly.  With our schedules, we rarely get home before dark... and we're just tired. With this beautiful weather and a relatively free Saturday, I dragged Scott outside with the camera (once again, taking advantage of the lovely fence behind our house). Here's the belly.

Dusting off the Keys

I had contemplated stopping this.  I figured the "sorry it's been so long" was getting tiring. But, alas, here I am again.  Now that I'm not living close to my family, I might as well update again.

First, we've made our first big married move.  Yes, we've already been in two houses in our short time of marriage, but this one required job changes, so it feels a bit bigger.

Home Sweet Home. For now.  :) Sidenote: I have no idea who's cutting board that is or why it's near our house.  It's been since thrown away and my lovely in-laws have added some more flowers.  We also added a nice door decoration.

Now that we live on the other side of the state, here are the cons we've encountered.

• Traffic: Yuck! x 2. There's certainly a reason for all the billboards to be covered by ambulance chasers and for car insurance to be twice as high.
• Housing: Another yuck. While houses themselves are decently priced, rentals are quite high. I suppose we need to start saving up for our second big grown up purchase.
• Job Search: Rough! Teachers on this site of the state are certainly saturating the market.  I don't know why... but I guess they're not willing to go to Rural schools.  Shout out to my old coworkers - I miss you dearly. 
• Family and Friends: Too far. While I'm closer to my family than others, it's still weird not have them at fingertips' length. It was a very tough time for us to make a transition, but duty calls.  Luckily, telephones still work (though not cell phones in our house..haha) and our cars are perfectly capable of driving distances. And, we've already had some visitors and were able to provide some 3 starish accommodations.

On the plus side, transition to Residency has been okay. Long hours, a very, very tired husband, but the satisfaction of knowing that we are officially PGY-1ers (the medical speak for intern year). Finally, we're not paying the school.  Though, please don't misunderstand me and think that we have some nice doctor paycheck.  I already hate those looks.  I'm one month into this, and I'm already avoiding telling fresh faces that my husband's a "doctor." He certainly earned the title, but is a looooong way away from what most people perceive as a doctor. And, let's not talk about the debt that is still on top of those tiny paychecks.  Welcome to the life.

On the Selena side of things, I'm officially making the transition to middle school.  Yep, I'm a middle school math teacher.  I'm a bit nervous.  It's not a traditional public school (charter), so I still have yet to discover what all that means.  So far, the biggest difference is the lack of a union.  I'm not a die hard union advocate, but that has a weird feeling when you know that it's not even an option.  It must be working okay, though.  They have great ratings and good MEAP scores. The rest, I probably will find out eventually. They are sending me to a teacher conference next week back in my old stomping grounds, so maybe I'll learn more then. 

Well, I feel like the hard work of getting "settled" is over.  Our house looks somewhat homey.  Though, I can't invite one of my closet friends yet... she'll yell at me that I still don't have a single picture hung.  Hanging pictures seems so permanent. I know it's necessary.... but I just feel like I might want to rearrange things still. :)

That's enough rambling for me for now. Call me out if you don't hear from me in a week. Accountability, people.

Bittersweet

I can honestly say that this is a hard post to write.

First, some wonderful news.  We matched and we now know where we are going.  Even better, we matched in a combined program... so we'll only have to move once in the next five years.  That itself is a huge relief.

Sometime in June, we'll be hauling all of our stuff (minus the couches) and two little guys to the Detroit area. Scott's program is well-known in his field and was at the top of our list. So, we can honestly say that we are thrilled to have been matched there.  It's close to family and I already know the area.  Plus, I'll already have my college roommate close by.  Though, I'm sad to leave my other college roommate who is within driving distance.

However, with our celebrations, comes some tears and sadness. It's sinking in that I'll have to change jobs, go back on the job hunt, and leave a great place.  I have some of the most supportive coworkers, and they will be impossible to replace.  I love that I work at a public school and prayer/family support is a regular conversation.  I only hope to find that to be a regular conversation at my next school.

We're excited for a new start. Maybe I'll live within a half hour to my workplace, maybe we'll find a great new house (we feel like we got lucky in Kalamazoo), and maybe we'll love the new city.  It's a lot of unknown that we need to decide soon.  I have that anxious feeling that June is going to come all too fast (and the program is already asking for our vacation days!).

As a final note, my family and friends, you are amazing. Thank you for everything: thoughts, prayers, support, encouragement, etc.

We Matched!

1/3 of the countdown is complete (Match Day & Spring Break are the other two).
I teach (now on my lunch break), but planned my day out with my kids so that I could be sitting at my computer desk at 12pm when the email was due to hit our inbox. That's how important it was. :)  Scott and I celebrated via text and let out out a huge sigh of relief when this came through.

It's nice and vague, but just what we want to hear.  Now, we know that we'll get an answer for where we are placed for transitional year and for the other four years.

If you happen to know someone who did not receive a similar letter today, please be extremely kind.  Their stress level is extremely high as they frantically find a place through the SOAP process.  In another blog I read, it was recommended to order pizza and send it to their house.  What a nice gesture!  Many forget to take the time to eat, sleep, etc.  It's an exhausting time.  

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!